("Quid coniuratio est?")
I call this issue "Strange News" due to the source for the
following: "The Weekly World News" (5/20/97), available at fine
grocery stores everywhere. Due to the nature of the source,
readers are advised to take that into consideration when they
evaluate what follows.
Cuba: A dishwasher was caught urinating on a hamburger intended
for Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. The dishwasher fled the scene,
but when Fidel heard about it he ordered that the man be caught
and executed. The dishwasher was subsequently captured and shot
South Africa: A company in this African nation is marketing
"Wondercuffs," an electronic monitoring device which the parent
slips around their teenager's ankle. If the teen wanders beyond
a predefined radius (up to 6 miles), the device phones the parent
and the parent can immediately speak with the teen and ask him
why he's outside the perimeter.
Los Angeles: "Boomerang bullets" are being slipped, by
"undercover agents," into boxes of ordinary ammunition sold
illegally on the street. The bullets are designed to turn around
in mid-air and kill whoever fires the gun.
Utah: A "Professor Lloyd Cuningdale" has unearthed a time
capsule left by the Donner party in 1847. The Donner party was
trapped by heavy snow and when their food ran out they resorted
to cannibalism to stay alive. Reportedly they made predictions
as they sat around munching on human flesh. Among the reported
** The American Civil War
** The sinking of the Titanic
** In 1960 a Catholic would be elected President but would be
killed by conspirators.
** Economic disaster: "First in 1929 and again in 1998... The
rich men will become poor."
** January 1999: Lucifer comes to earth.
** Aliens invade in 2004
** Biological weapons, and specifically one killer biological
weapon, will kill us all in 2016.
Houston: Dr. Marvin Greib, a former consultant to NASA,
supposedly has leaked part of a transcript of conversations made
by astronauts on board the Discovery space ship. Two of the
astronauts reportedly talk about seeing "at least 100,000 'huge
glowing spacecraft' flying in formation around the Earth." Greib
claims the intent of the alien spacecrafts is "warlike."
Apparently the attack will come by Christmas. Hey! Don't those
aliens know they're supposed to wait until 2004 before they
attack! (See previous story.)
Coos Bay, Oregon: An alien spacecraft has washed ashore.
According to "noted bio-physicist" Dr. William Labbash, he and
his staff have concluded it is "indeed an extraterrestrial
spacecraft." Labbash reportedly will not disclose whether or not
any corpses of space beings were found. And "insiders" say that
President Bill Clinton is "very concerned" -- as if he doesn't
have enough already to worry about!
Bangkok, Thailand: Police are now using dwarfs instead of dogs
to sniff for drugs. "Nobody knows why, but those little guys can
sniff out a cache of drugs better than any dog ever could,"
reportedly states a Thai cop.
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Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt.
Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et
pauperem. -- Liber Proverbiorum XXXI: 8-9