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("Quid coniuratio est?")
MEMO: FROM GUNS & GOLD HEADQUARTERS
Reports from our agents in the field indicate that sales of guns and ammunition are slipping. The gold and silver coin sales are also down. We need to boost sales in both areas.
Strategy: Pump up hysteria by spreading wild rumors about Russian submarines within the 12-mile coastal limit of the U.S. Latch onto true stories of federal stupidity and arrogance, then concoct fanciful tales apt to be believed by "satire deficient" readers. Get field agents to push "we are being invaded" and "martial law imminent" type legends, as per usual during the hot July sales season. Rely on some credentialed spokesman to give "credibility" needed by authority-demanding consumers who must have some "father figure" available before they can feel comfortable. In this regard, suggest possibly a military-type chaplain; provide him as per usual the standard $100,000 "lecture fee" and/or "charitable donation". Also, with Olympics taking place and obvious consequence of foreigners on U.S. soil, concoct some sort of "foreign invasion of Atlanta" type story.
Implementation: Give hysteria average 4 to 7 days to ferment, then have our gun dealers canvass their assigned territories and reap the reward in highly profitable sales. Also send out gold and silver dealers to get their "piece of the action" from agitated and fearful Americans.
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